The Olsen twins in vintage Galliano.

Chloe Sevigny in J.W. Anderson.

The annual Met gala (“Fashion Prom,” as it’s been called) is not my favorite event. Those that attend are just there to preen for the cameras, showing off expensive outfits. Oh yes, it’s a grand fundraiser for the exceptional Costume Institute, but let’s be clear: if you want to support a good cause, write a check. I looked at about a hundred of the attendees: EVERYONE LOOKED BAD. When clueless celebrities are expected to wear something truly outrageous and fashion-y…and add the difficult-to-pull-off  “Chinese” theme to those expectations…they are bound to fail. And boy, did they.

However, as always, the Olsen twins looked to the past (which makes perfect sense at an event that raises money for vintage fashions) in vintage Galliano. Chloe Sevigny wore a J.W. Anderson dress that was made from vintage Chinese silk…very clever, and very green! A clueless Sarah Jessica Parker bragged that her outfit was “green” as well, but when you’re wearing and supporting irresponsible fast-fashion conglomerate H&M (and sporting that hideous Philip Treacy hat) that is a very hard notion to justify.

Note: all you Hollywood starlets who complain of not being taken seriously, of not earning what a man earns, of feeling objectified…stop dressing “naked.” Yes, that was an actual theme at this event: who could be more naked. This is a sad, tacky trend that I wish would go away.

Click here to see all the misguided fashion choices that were made last night.

Beyonce…naked.

JLo…naked.

Kim…naked with sleeves.